25

******************************

Each birthday is a little like a fresh start. Even more so than in the new year. Every year on the same day, you review and make new wishes for another year of your life, for a new version of yourself – better, grown up, stronger, surprising too.  

My dear new page,

Teach me to live (again)!

Teach me to breathe without having to think about it.

Teach me how not to suffocate under the weight of life.

Teach me to stop controlling everything, to let go, to be free!

Teach me to stop counting my calories every day, to stop weighing even the tiniest bit of food I’m about to swallow.

Teach me to take care of all of my parts, to never again abandon any of them because they’ve been judged non-compliant, too much or not enough, by foreign eyes.

Teach me to embrace my flaws, my fractures, my cracks, and my burns. Teach me to fill them and smear them with love and kindness.

Teach me to be my own lifebelt.

Teach me to dance in the rain and roar with laughter in the sun.

Teach me to say ‘no’ to others more often so I say ‘yes’ to myself, so I don’t lose myself in their desires and listen to mine – finally.

Arm me with courage to tell the words that matter.

Help me knock down the barricade that surrounds my heart and untangle the net that chains my body.

Teach me to take off that armour.

Teach me to fall in love again, to open my arms, my heart and my soul wide, and to let the wave wrap me up with all its might.

Teach me to listen to my sudden impulses, my follies, these little crazy things I know to be the only ones I will never regret.

Teach me life, just life, quite simply.

Chaque anniversaire est un peu comme un nouveau départ. Plus encore que le passage à la nouvelle année. Tous les ans à la même date, on fait le bilan et on formule de nouveaux vœux pour une autre année de vie, pour une nouvelle version de nous-même – meilleure, grandie, plus forte, surprenante aussi.

Ma chère nouvelle page,

Apprends-moi à (re)vivre !

Apprends-moi à respirer sans devoir y penser.

Apprends-moi comment ne plus suffoquer sous le poids de la vie.

Apprends-moi à ne plus tout contrôler, à lâcher prise, à être libre !

Apprends-moi à ne plus compter mes calories chaque jour, à ne plus peser le moindre aliment que je m’apprête à ingérer.

Apprends-moi à prendre soin de toutes les parties de moi, à ne plus en abandonner aucune parce qu’elle est jugée non-conforme, trop ou bien pas assez, par des yeux étrangers.

Apprends-moi à embrasser mes défauts, mes failles, mes fissures, et mes brûlures. Apprends-moi à les remplir et à les badigeonner d’amour et de bienveillance.

Apprends-moi à être ma propre bouée de sauvetage.

Apprends-moi à danser sous la pluie et à rire aux éclats sous le soleil.

Apprends-moi à dire ‘non’ aux autres plus souvent pour me dire ‘oui’ à moi, pour ne plus me perdre dans leurs désirs et écouter les miens enfin.

Arme-moi de courage pour dire les mots qui comptent.

Aide-moi à faire tomber la barricade qui encercle mon cœur, et à démêler le filet qui enchaîne mon corps.

Apprends-moi à retirer cette armure.

Apprends-moi à retomber amoureuse, à tendre mes bras, mon cœur et mon âme grands ouverts, et à laisser la vague m’envelopper de toute sa force.

Apprends-moi à écouter mes coups de tête, mes folies, ces choses un peu dingues que je sais être les seules que je ne regretterai jamais.

Apprends-moi la vie, juste la vie, tout simplement.

******************************

Share:

4 Comments

  1. Jean Marie Viguié
    8th August 2019 / 9:16 AM

    Cherchant à te souhaiter un heureux premier quart de siècle (et oui !), je “tombe” sur ta page.
    Du fin fond de mon impuissance à te venir en aide, tes résolutions pour l’année … “mariale” qui vient, me sont un baume à l’âme.
    Le bonheur est toujours une idée neuve. Sois heureuse, Marie !

    • Marie
      Author
      8th August 2019 / 11:11 AM

      oh mais quel joli “hasard” :) Merci beaucoup pour ce beau message d’anniversaire :)
      Je suis toujours heureuse de vous lire !
      à très vite, j’espère :)
      Marie

      • sabine
        8th August 2019 / 9:15 PM

        Happy birthday beautiful Marie !!!!
        (I must confess someone reminded me of this important date … but I can also say I often think of you when driving past your family , hoping you find your own way back)
        I admire you for your strength (and I am not only referring to the exquisite quality of your writing in English …)
        I admire you for your ability to depict feelings, emotions, colors or the tiny details that one can only grasp when taking the time to look at them and then to lay them so delicately on the page.
        I entirely share your dad’s opinion, when he declared many people didn’t have the tiniest inkling of the load of energy and creativity it takes to create your articles and the wonderful pictures you pick up and transform to illustrate your state of mind and often add such a fresh and funny touch. Clever cocktail to reach the proper balance of precision, sensitivity and “carefreedom” (my own invention I am afraid). You have never cheated Marie, that’ for sure.
        So, thank you for finding the right words and emotions to show us the beauty of the world (It’s a genuine pleasure to check you feel so deeply rooted in our Burgundy, the further away the bird flies the more he needs to know where he comes from).
        Thank you for teaching me the great Will also praised our region !
        “On -your- way” is so true to the authentic, profound and original girl I have known !!! It feels like listening to you, really. Thank you for sharing likewise Marie . It is the world upside down if you are the one giving us a present today. Thank you for the generosity of your smile and of your person as a whole. Keep walking the world with your light shoes and your adorable dresses. It is a precious treasure for the old lady (I am twice your age, can you imagine ?) !

        • Marie
          Author
          9th August 2019 / 9:27 AM

          Oh my goodness! This is literally the sweetest and best birthday wishes I’ve received this year, so thank you heaps!
          I’m speechless reading your words, and I can’t hide how deeply they move me – I mean, you had me shed a tear last night :p!
          Thank you for taking the time to write all this, for wandering and browsing through the things I leave here and there on the world wide web, for reminding me my dad knew me better than he did ever let me believe, for knowing me this well and supporting me – always <3
          Sending my very best wishes your way! and I hope we get to catch up sometime soon when I'm back in Burgundy for a couple of days :)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.