* Disclosure *
// Previously published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com //
I woke up that morning. I was breathing. I was alive. I had made it through another day, as dark and hopeless as all of the previous ones since my dad had reached the stars.
I woke up that morning. I was breathing. I was alive. And I was about to be proved that holding on one day more might just bring me the one thing that’d eventually make it all okay. Because after waking up that morning in my cold bedroom, looking for a scrap of hope through the frosted window, I met him.
Life is a very curious thing. One day, it takes someone away from you forever, and you don’t believe you’ll ever get something quite as good in return. You don’t believe it, until it happens. Until the day life brings you someone just as good. It’s different, but it’s good.
So I woke up that morning. I was breathing. I was alive. And I was proved that holding on one day more could just bring me the one thing that’d eventually make it all okay, the one person of all the six billion people in the world who would bring the light back into my life. You never know where the next smile, the next life-changing words, the next miracle is going to come from, but when it’s here, you embrace it.
And so I did.
“The best things in life are free,” they say. Well, whoever “they” are, they’re right. Life can be pretty harsh, but if you hold on to that glimmer in the depth of your eyes, if you hold on to that strength, you’ll be able to move on from the wounds left by whatever bullets life shot at you. You’ll see magic and beauty and hope. I saw all of that over a cup of tea in a London café on a Sunday afternoon. I saw it in his warm greeting, his tight hug, his gentle smile, his tender look, his kind words, and the meaningful conversation that we shared.
That was a few months ago. We barely knew each other. We were no more than mere acquaintances.
But it all changed in one day.
And now… now he’s my closest friend, my best friend, my lucky star. The brightest thing that’s ever come into my life.
Just like a star in the night sky…
He’s the last person I talk to before falling asleep, and very often the first one I hear from in the morning. He’s my 2 am conversation, he’s the one who sends me these ridiculous pictures of dogs and babies, and these videos of funny cats, flooding everyone’s Facebook feed, yet making our lives feel a little lighter, a little easier and a little brighter for just a few seconds. And when he doesn’t, I miss it. I miss these silly moments we share at night or in the middle of the day.
He’s ready to do things for me no one’s ever done before. He takes me out of my comfort zone and makes me do things, say things, that scare me yet I do them, say them anyway, because I trust him like I have never trusted anyone. He talks to me about everything, shares even the most insignificant instants of his day, and so I want to do the same.
I am ready.
I am ready to do these little simple things that give sense to life, and make it so wonderfully and beautifully worth living. I am ready to let someone in. Actually – I am ready to let him in.
I have fought on my own for what seems to be forever, and now, I feel like I have finally found a genuine hand, a kind heart, and a caring soul I can rely on without fearing being judged or hurt. Today, he’s the only one to know of my deepest and best-hidden secrets, and I’m not entirely sure what that makes him, but I know that makes me vulnerable, yet so much stronger than before. And the best part is… he didn’t run away. He didn’t run away when I told him about all the darkness and the misery that once were a part of me. When I showed him who I was. He hasn’t run away…
He’s not running away.
And so… if life is a movie – as he says – and we’re all just characters crossing paths while on our way to nowhere we truly know of, then I want him to be the one character that doesn’t leave, and I want to be the one character that stays. The one that’s not just a stop on the road. The one you don’t only cross path with but keep close until your very last breath.
I want the rest of the film to be as delightfully foolish as we were that night on that midnight stroll – when we were talking about going to Paris at just anytime because money wouldn’t be a problem, when we were dreaming big and beautiful and crazy. I want the rest of the film to see us lie on the grass of a garden on a sunny day, watch the leaves flutter on the trees, look up and give silly names to the clouds, and I want it to see us stargaze and embrace the majestic silence of a summer night.
Life is too short to play games or postpone a chance at happiness. So let’s go. Let’s do it. Let’s be happy.
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Read the piece on TC: http://thoughtcatalog.com/marie-dubreuil/2016/05/it-was-his-love-that-saved-me/
Check out my TC profile: http://thoughtcatalog.com/marie-dubreuil/