Feeling infinite

♪ How strange/This feeling that my life’s begun at last/This change,/Can people really fall in love so fast?

In my life/There are so many questions and answers/That somehow seem wrong/In my life/There are times when I catch in the silence/The sigh of a faraway song/And it sings/Of a world that I long to see/Out of reach/Just a whisper away/Waiting for me…

Does he know I’m alive?/Do I know if he’s real?/Does he see what I saw?/Does he feel what I feel? ♪

♪ In my life/A heart full of love  – Les Misérables ♪ 

what is this feeling?!

© LIZ OSBAN 

 “What we don’t let out traps us. We think, ‘No one else feels this way, I must be crazy’. So we don’t say anything. And we become enveloped by a deep loneliness, not knowing where our feelings come from or what to do with them. Why do I feel this way?”  ― Sabrina Ward Harrison

Having goose bumps, feeling butterflies in my stomach, being touched by something that seems unreal or supernatural, being hurt but in a good way… That’s what happens when I’m with you, next to you or a thousand worlds away from you, that’s simply what happens when I think of you

Every time I see you or think of you, I have the same tickling butterflies I had when I first met you, the same thrills when I hear the soft & delicate sound of your voice, and the exact same fulfilling, powerful & sometimes tearing emotions in my heart. I’m not really sure what this is all about, but it is something big… huge even, and infinite! It makes me cry sometimes, but those tears are not “tears of sadness or even tears of joy” as Elizabeth Bard once wrote, “I am just overflowing. Like so many things since I’ve been there, I don’t yet understand it, but I feel it.”

Marilyn Monroe once said: “It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone.” And that is exactly how I feel; nothing is needed, no words, nothing… The simple facts of being with you or thinking of you make me feel safe and at rest… nothing else is necessary.

I must say you’re pretty awful at answering texts sometimes, but you are a free spirit, simply struggling to stay in touch with others because you’re always caught up in the moment. You’ve always had this genuine kindness within you, within your entire soul, which somehow seems dreamlike, and I have always loved it. You’re definitely one of the nicest, kindest & sweetest persons I’ve ever met and I think you actually taught me the real meaning of caring and how deeply one could care for another.

You’ve believed in me since we met (basically), you saved me when I was lost and didn’t know where to go, you’ve always been there somewhere within me and you still are, you are this reassuring voice in my head, this shelter we all look for someday in our lives, this shoulder one can easily lie their head on, a home, in fact, a new home where I found safety.

I have so many words in me, struggling to find a way out, there are so many words and they’re all so deeply implanted not only within my whole body, but within my entire soul too that I feel like I’m going to explode. I want to write them down, but when I try, most of my words are not strong or right enough to describe how I feel. And I guess it’s just because “feelings are part of a world I don’t know, a world where there’s no time, no space and no frontiers” (Paulo Coelho).

♪ And my life seems to stop/As if something is over/And something has scarcely begun…

In my life/There is someone who touches my life/Waiting near…/Waiting here… ♪

 ♪ In my life/A heart full of love  – Les Misérables ♪ 

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