And it’s dedicated to France! I know that this post is going to shock a lot of people, but here it is… I’ve never been selfish, or at least I don’t think so. But this time is different! I can’t go back to France, I won’t (or practically I will go back there to take my exams and finish what I’ve started, but I’m not sure to still be here in September)!
One says that ‘the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained’, that’s why I think you deserve some explanations…
I’m sorry… but I don’t think I’ll be able to live in France again… simply because I’ve found the place where I belong. I’ve held my breath for years and I’ve been hurt because of that. I definitely can’t live the rest of my life in a country that doesn’t match with me, where I don’t feel well (anymore? I don’t know if France has ever matched with me or if I’ve ever matched with France). Moreover… I think it’s time for me to finally move on (that’s what’s best for everybody I think)!
It’s not a sudden impulse or whatsoever! I’ve been thinking about it since my last high school year but I thought that last year was too early (maybe it wasn’t…). I’ve always wanted to study and live abroad, but I didn’t really know where until now. Today, I know that England is my HOME, and by ‘home’, I mean the place whereI can be myself, feel fine and do good.
I’m scared of people’s reaction, that’s why I decided to write it on my blog first. For those who know me and who read this blog, I just have one request to make … Try to understand me, please.
I don’t want to give you this advice…
‘Keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life’
if I don’t follow it myself, so… this is what this post is about. It’s about me following my dreams, and as hard as it can be, I’m not giving up on it (not on this one!)
So if I can follow my dream, the dream of living my life in the place where I know I belong… You, guys, can also follow yours!
Now I have to face the persons that could destroy it in a second : my family!