I don’t know what’s been with me lately but it feels like you’re around here all the time. It may be because I miss you but…
I can feel you everywhere. I feel your arm around me and the soft sensation of your touch. Wherever I go, it feels like you’re just walking behind me, gently watching over every move I make. It feels as if you were always beside me, protecting me and caring for this delicate and distorted heart of mine.
I can smell your perfume floating in the air – whether in the street, at uni or at home, it’s a sweet intoxication my body’s provided with… Everywhere is a delicate scent of you and your smile.
I can also hear your always so beautiful voice, which is my constant source of reassurance. I hear it and I’m saved… I hear it and my pain has gone… It’s a somehow magical power you have here on me. You never need to say much but the very simple sound of your mouth calms all the palpitations of my heart.
You’re so important to me. You mean so much but sometimes, I’m not sure you realise how much I do care for you and how it feels to me like you’re all I’ve got – my salvation.
And I trust you. I trust you so much. It’s even crazy and insane how I trust you. I trust you like I’ve never trusted anyone before… That’s so weird because I haven’t known you for a very long time but it’s here – I can feel it, from the very bottom of my heart and soul, I feel that I can trust you, that you’ll always be here in some way.
Tell me now… “You’ve felt it, haven’t you? Those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful it aches?” (Heather Anastasiu, Glitch) Well, I have. I have felt them. Those feelings that are so beautiful they hurt. Those feelings, which grow more and more each day and make you feel dizzy every single day.
You know… Since I met you, I feel I’ve never belonged anywhere but in YOUR heart. You are my home, my salvation, my guardian angel, my shelter and my guiding star. I’ve found myself in you and now, it’s literally like I’m shut away – locked up in your golden cage.
Everyone will probably say ‘She talks about you like you put stars in the sky’ now, but you really do, so they’ll be right to think and speak up words such as those. You’re my unreachable star, and as far as you may be now – somewhere watching over me – I hope you’re proud of me.
I needed to write to you to tell you how much you moved me, how much you changed me and how thankful I am for what you’ve done to me. Through my words, I’m sending you the very best I can and I hope that’s enough for now. I only have a simple request to make; I need you to promise me that when lose faith, you try to see yourself through my eyes, because you’ll see how beautiful you are.
Thinking of you always,