“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” – Mary Anne Radmacher (Expect that, as far as I’m concerned, it is only on the other side of the Channel :p)
I mean… that’s true! What do expect? Who do you expect me to be? The exact same girl I was when I left in January? Hmmm, I don’t think so! How can you even expect me to be the same person? I’ve been LIVING (I especially want to highlight this word “LIVING”, because during all that time in England and for one of the first times in my life, I truly felt like I was living, like I could actually breathe and be happy… I’ve just been reminded what it was to smile… it’s as easy as that!) abroad for 6 months, I’ve met incredible people (who are now my friends), I’ve discovered new customs and adopted them… And I don’t want to give up on all that, simply because it’s part of me now, part of who I am, part of who I’ve become. You can’t honestly ask me to forget all I’ve been experiencing and be the girl I used to be again, because I can’t do that, I simply CAN’T!
And if it grieves you, dad, grandpa, grandma, little bro, my friends… well, I’m sorry but the only thing I have to say is… “You DEFINITELY should have known that!” Everybody knows that a ‘travel’ such as this is not without consequences; it leaves its mark, and mine DEFINITELY left an indelible one on me!Therefore, I know that nothing’s going to be the same again… it’s just IMPOSSIBLE!
And here I am, facing the sea and thinking that what can be expected from this point forth are the magical fluidity of every moment, and the sense of peace in knowing that my life will never be the same again.
Mark Twain once wrote: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” I kind of tend to have the same opinion… and I think that if my family and friends react the way they do, it’s simply because they don’t know what it is to live abroad and then realize that none of the parts of your former life will be the same, that everything’s about to change. Why? Because you have brand new eyes, you see things differently; because you ARE different, you’ve changed; in a word, you’ve grown up (well that’s actually 4 words but… NEVERMIND!) I think that’s what Terry Pratchett meant when he wrote, “Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
As far as I’m concerned, I needed to leave. I needed to leave to find myself and (also, I think) to realize I could actually be happy even after all the mess that had invaded my family (and unfortunately, the mess is still going on :s!). So, as I am facing that powerful feeling today, the feeling of a possible happiness, but above all, the feeling of belonging somewhere, I can assure you that I won’t let them change who I’ve become… because (and I hope I’m not arrogant saying this) I’m kind of proud of that person ;p!
Become who you want to become so that you can be proud of yourself (a little bit of pride never killed anyone, did it?!): that would be my advice for today ;)!
And of course,
Keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life ;)
Much love to all my readers