“Forever”… That’s what you’d said.

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I think I got my answer… “FOREVER” doesn’t mean anything anymore!

I’ve never thought that my best friend (I don’t even know if I still have the right to call him like this) would make me cry someday. But he did. I’m not angry at him. Life sucks and that’s it! Everyone goes his own way and meets new people and that’s great, there’s nothing greater actually… but on the other hand, you may lose a lot. As far as I’m concerned, there was and there still is no one more important to me than my best friend, but everything’s gone in a few minutes…

One day you think that you’ll always have this one person who will always be there for you, no matter what, who is not like your other friends, and another day everything simply crumbles… You don’t feel anything anymore and above all you don’t want to feel anything (at least I don’t) because nothing makes sense anymore! I started wondering if I had made the right choices or not. When I think about it, I would say that leaving home brought me a lot and now I’m just doing what I’ve always dreamt of doing, but leaving home also made me lose my best friend… So, was it worth leaving then? I don’t know, I really don’t… and regarding the way I’m feeling right now, crumbled, devastated, broken down, lonely… I truly doubt about it.

And please, don’t try to tell me that everything’s going to be alright, that time will make its magic because it won’t. I haven’t seen him for more than 3 years now, so I have already been feeling low, but I believed what one says “Side by side or miles apart, best friends are together if only by heart”. Apparently I was wrong, I shouldn’t have believed that. And now it simply… hurts.

But keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life anyway, guys.

xoxo

PS : I miss you T.

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