Am I doomed to always leave?

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Jonathan Safran Foer once wrote “I hate myself for going, why can’t I be the kind of person who stays?” This is the perpetual question I have in mind. What would my life be like if I hadn’t left first? There is a part of me that truly regrets to have left, but there is also THIS other part of me that is really satisfied to have let everything behind, because THIS part made me grow up the way I wanted to! So which part is the strongest? I don’t know and I can’t say.

If I believe what Enid Blyton wrote, that’s to say “Leave something for someone but don’t leave someone for something.” , I should have stayed where my heart was, I should have stayed with the only and rare persons who have always been there for me, I should have stayed with my family and my best friend… I should have stayed in my hometown. But then maybe, I wouldn’t have grown up the way I did, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, the person I have always wanted to be.

But is this a good solution? I think there is no good one really. As far as I am concerned, I left home when I was 15 but the way I left and still do… I find it quite CRUEL! I’m a little bit like Cecelia Ahern’s character, “I make it easier for people to leave by making them hate me a little.”  AND I’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT.

Tim McGraw once wrote “We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.” … I will never forget people of my hometown, I actually miss them all the time but I think that thinking of them keeps them around anyway. This way they never really leave me and I never really leave them.

And as I always say, keep holding on to what you love & enjoy the ride of life ;)

xoxo

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2 Comments

  1. May 11, 2013 / 5:26 PM

    this is very relevant to my concerns nowadays:) thanks for the insight. i guess..as u said..we are always on are way…maybe there are no destinations .
    and the people or things that we leave are living a parallel experience ; simultaneously leaving and reaching all the time..

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